There is one thing that every girl hopes and dreams for in her lifetime and despite what Wedding Central at WE TV or Tyra Banks says, it doesn’t have anything to do with looking and acting like a self-entitled “princess” on her wedding day—or worse, becoming America’s Next Top Model. No, we’re talking about many sleepless nights wishing and dreaming, pleading with God, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy—even the Great Pumpkin from the pumpkin patch (damn you Linus—you blockhead) to deliver a beautiful and magical pony. This past weekend, Mamma Biscuit was reminded of how it’s never too late for dreams to come true and that good things really do come to those who wait when she received her very own rocking pony from her insanely wacky grandmother who clearly believes (as she should) that Mamma is her real grand daughter. Our little gremlin was just completely barkless and beside herself. First it was freedom from the puppy mill and now this—clearly, there is a God because all of Mamma’s prayers have been answered.
Mamma quickly hopped onto her new pony with ease and was able to ride and rock like a pro. In fact, she could straddle and ride her pony better than Debra Winger as Sissy could ever ride a mechanical bull in Urban Cowboy—and that’s on her first try. We have decided that this special pony will remain at Nonna’s house—there’s absolutely no room at the pug palace for such a device and Mamma will be able to enjoy her pony whenever she visits. In conclusion, the Biscuits implore you to hold onto your dreams—with enough tenacity, you too can eventually win the lottery or better yet, get your very own rocking pony.