Bedtime Mamma

As you may already know, Mamma Biscuit sleeps about 22.5 hours a day. She’s an extreme professional napper in our book. She’ll go into a quick 45 minute nap to prepare for one of her “real” naps and when she’s engrossed in a “real” nap, she starts to smell like corn chips. Not only is she so incredibly content and cozy in her coma-naps but this formula of sleep also keeps her wrinkles and folds as young and fresh looking as a baby pug! That is Mamma’s beauty secret to staying so youthful looking. We would have put her on Madonna’s beauty regimen but the idea of smearing baby placenta on her face to promote poreless skin (or in her case, a luxurious coat) seemed too extreme, expensive and unethical—so marathon sleeping it is as a logical solution for Mamma’s beauty remedies!

With that said, Mamma has two donut beds at her disposal for her napping convenience. Mamma’s day bed is a Laura Ashley toile bed that resides in the living room of her pug palace. It’s in a perfect spot—directly in front of the TV screen in case she decides to open her bug eyes during a riveting board room scene between Nene Leakes and Star Jones on The Apprentice or to simply know exactly when one of us heads into the kitchen for a snack. Her second day bed is in the office and is red with white polka dots. She retires to that sassy bed during the late afternoon hours and is lulled to sleep by the tapping of the keyboard keys while one of us is online.

However, at night, Mamma retires to our queen size bed with us. It’s amazing how much room she will actually take up on this bed. Our Lady of Biscuits will muscle her way in between us. She’ll curl up, pressing against either one of us. By morning, both Tommy and I are at polar opposite sides of the bed, teetering on our respective edges while Miss Biscuit is sprawled out in the center like a Diva! Not only has this taken a toll on my back (note to my budding sciatica) and Tommy’s general discomfort but somehow, we feel compelled to accommodate her. Boy she has us whipped!

Anyway, here is our royal bed hog sitting upon her queen size bed. Yes, it’s really not our bed anymore, it’s hers! After all, we are fighting a losing battle with her—I mean look how adorable she is! Is that a face you want to reprimand?

Happy napping!