Mamma Biscuit and family would like to honor all of our soldiers throughout American history who have sacrificed their lives and fought for independence and freedom—our life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We thank you not just today but every day for your courage, sacrifice and good intentions. Along with this sentiment, Mamma Biscuit would like to usher in the summer season while immersed in cool, refreshing water from a garden hose in a plastic pool from Target—I’m guessing it’s from Target but it could have been purchased at Walmart—who knows!
Here is our little Biscuit Lady visiting with her pal Autumn Perr in Woodstock, New York. Autumn is a three year old Shiba Inu/Terrier mix who was rescued by our good friend Janet Perr from the Ulster County SPCA in Kingston, New York. Both Autumn and Mamma enjoyed bathing outdoors on this lazy summer day, catching up like two old bitches! Autumn and her nerf ball were inseparable and Mamma outside of the pool was fixated on the back porch corner—just another average summer day for two dogs!
For most of you, Memorial Day is a national holiday that not only honors American soldiers throughout our brief history but also kicks off the summer season. For Mamma Biscuit and family, Memorial Day means one thing only: it kicks off the one-month countdown until Christmas in July on QVC. We’ll admit, most of the holiday items that QVC unveils during this one-month out-of-season extravaganza of the Season is pure shit, however the nonstop coverage of holiday items during 100+ humidity weather just tickles Mamma into a pug frenzy. Like John Waters, Mamma and her two dads exhibit such explicit yuletide patheticism all year ‘round and the slightest jingle of a bell could set us off into what seems like a North Pole orgy starring a pack of dwarfs cooped up in a cabin with a Tom of Finland style Santa Claus—I’ll leave the rest to your imagination! I mean, how could we not be excited for the impending holiday when Mamma has a plastic black Santa head stored in the closet that is just begging to grace the front door of the pug palace? Anyway, you all get it—we LOVE CHRISTMAS and Mamma has a few new holiday pieces to share with you. So whether you spin a dreidel with Rabbi Shmuley while eating coin-shaped chocolates or you simply shut the lights off and pretend no one is home on or before December 25th, keep reading, this post still applies to you!
We flock to anything flocked! In the past, we have shared with you our love affair with glass ornaments but we also have a huge collection of mid-century flocked ornaments that we like to throw in the mix for diversity and texture. Here we have two vintage flocked ornaments that caught Mamma’s discerning, holiday eye. One ornament is of an elephant balancing on a circus ball and the other is of a little boy in a band uniform—both with great gold leafing detail and made in occupied Japan. We just love how the original F.W. Woolworth Co. tag is still attached to both ornaments with the actual lot number printed on the back. We have no doubt that these two editions will find a perfect home on our tree come December.
Next on our holiday plate is this fantastic bottle brush Christmas tree. Mamma has two villages that she and her dads put up every year. One is a huge Christmas-in the-city, Department 56 extravaganza and the other is a newly budding, small paper village that is completely vintage. This tree is almost 70 years old and will fit perfectly within our paper village by adding just enough nostalgia to the scene!
And last but not least, these fantastic fabric birds with velvet wings and tails and glitter accents. These two birds are not vintage but we just couldn’t bear to leave them behind. They are going to make the perfect corner accent to one of our many doorway garland displays. Just photographing this stuff made me yearn to spin a Chipmunk Christmas record and turning the volume up really loudly so that the assholes who live above us could be just as annoyed as we get every morning when they drag their furniture across the floor for no discernible reason!
Instead of irritating our inconsiderate neighbors for a quickie in the Christmas department, click on the video below of a great scene in John Waters’ 1974 film entitled Female Trouble. It’s the early sixties and budding small-time criminal Dawn Davenport (Devine) fails to get her expected Cha Cha Heels for Christmas from her parents. Carnage ensues!
Enjoy and remember, Christmas is only 211 days and 15 hours away!
Mamma Biscuit is never one to shy away from bold, modern and young fashionable attire. She may be living out her golden years with us, but she’s certainly not modest or matronly either. No, our little gremlin likes to make a big splash with her fashion whenever she can. After all, she is editor-in-chief of Dogue Magazine.
Here is our Lady of Biscuits sporting her fabulous new motorcycle-jacket-inspired Juicy Couture zip-up—wow that was a mouth full! If you thought Mamma was a spicy cougar before, well WATCH OUT! This jacket brings her to a whole new level of fabulosity. I know, I’m sorry for quoting that carb-face Kimora Lee Simmons but the simple truth is, the word fabulosity is the only accurate word that comes to mind when describing Mamma wearing this jacket!
It’s hard to tell from these photos but the back side to this jacket has this incredible piping detail from neck to tail which gives the illusion of a corset—not that Mamma needs any support in looking svelte however it does cinch her trunk in just the right areas from a back or aerial view. We also love the front asymmetrical zipper that comes half way up to allow breathing room for Mamma’s amazing, built-in, mink stole around her neck! We added a diamond-shaped vintage diamond brooch (from Mamma’s private collection) to the collar of this jacket to polish off this entire look!
Mamma is totally ready to hit Madison Avenue for a little boutique shopping followed by a light lunch with the ladies from The Real Housewives of New York. But wherever the day may take Mamma, we hope she has the good sense to stay away from Jill Zarin—she may not have any teeth left in her mouth but our little Biscuit still knows how to bite if she’s provoked!
Hans J. Wegner may have intended to design this chair for “Papa Bear†but Mamma Bear seems to redefine that notion. While perched upon this teddy-bear-of-a-chair, our little gremlin adds timeless and cozy appeal. She practically exudes Scandinavian royalty paired with that pseudo wing back design. Hey, Danish design should include something for the ladies don’t you think? Mamma Bear intends on driving that point home within this photo. Unfortunately, we don’t come from royalty so we left this chair behind before the sticker shock wore off!
So as you all know, the Biscuits recently visited with family out in Arlington, Virginia and Washington DC. The weather was extremely cloudy, damp, dreary and totally unsuitable for site seeing all the monuments in our Capital but it was perfect for an antique market/junk-thrift-crawl—and boy did we score some great seasonal items, records and other oddities. I’ll leave those goodies for another post but for now I wanted to share some photos we took at Lyon Village Park in Arlington.
Mamma passed this park every morning and early evening during her walks and she was a major hit with all of the children playing in the nearby sand box and monkey bars. Our Lady of Biscuits is always ready for her close-up—as long as whomever is taking the photo has a soft-chew treat dangling next to the lens.
There is nothing Mamma enjoys more than to spend an entire day in and out of the car with her dads while they search through piles of unspecified antiques and odds and ends. Of course we carry our little gremlin neatly and swiftly within her Lacoste bag the entire time so that she can nod off using the spout of the bag as a chin rest.
Me, Tommy, Mamma and a park bench all conspire to make a wonderful late-afternoon!
