Tabletop manners

If there is one thing Mamma needs to brush up on it’s her manners. Don’t get me wrong, our little Biscuit would never jump up on you upon greeting her on the street. She would never slobber all over you despite how wet and menacing her epic tongue may look like in a photograph, however, the moment food is involved in any way, shape or form—all the rules go out the window. Here is Mamma showing just how unrefined she can be in the presence of a table. Seriously, the sight of a table, the rustle of a bag or the clink of a glass can set our little beast aflame with unbridled hunger. In fact, she would sit in her food if it were more convenient for her to eat! Anyway, we have been making strides to do away with this Paris-Hilton-table-top-hopping-habit that Mamma has picked up by sending her to a class. Yes, every other Saturday, Biscuit attends a manners and etiquette class hosted by Chloë Sevigny—the queen of refined pretension. In just one class, Mamma has learned the following:

• Never hog the disco snow

• When in Malawi, befriend an ocelot, when in Jaipur, eat it

• Never discuss social studies

• Honor yellow

• Learn to appreciate the casual arrogance of Tuesday Weld

• Never refuse a catalina slathered pig face

• Always curtsey

Click the video below to get a taste of what Chloë has been teaching Mamma!


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