Mamma’s Haunted House

Hey all you trick or treaters and Halloween lovers out there, don’t be afraid to approach the life-size paper skeleton hanging on the front door of our apartment—there’s a little pug on the other side of that door running in circles just waiting for your arrival! So come on in and take a tour of Mamma Biscuit’s haunted house—I swear, the only risk you’ll take upon entering through that creaky door is falling madly in love with our little gremlin. Our only recommendation is that you tip Mamma Biscuit for being your tour guide and for wearing an x-ray of herself in the process! A soft-chew treat on the way out will suffice! It’s either that or suffer the wrath of a hungry pug with one tooth and a long, sloppy tongue! Now for those of you who can’t make it up to Washington Heights (A.K.A. Canada) for a private and spooky tour, here are some highlights!

Isn’t it just so typical of Mamma Biscuit to mix in Christmas iconography with her Halloween trim? How you ask? Well, take a look at Mamma’s Halloween tree, do you notice the hand-cut ornaments of Krampus? Wait, you don’t know who he is? OK, here goes: According to legend, Krampus (represented by a demon-like creature) accompanies St. Nicholas during the Christmas season to warn and punish bad children by kidnapping them, spanking them (how strangely erotic) and generally threatening them of some dark demise if they don’t follow orders. On a side note, we tried using this very tactic with Mamma Biscuit (not the spanking, silly) whenever she misbehaves and pees on our kitchen floor but she just looks directly into the face of Krampus with a glazed look and then walks away with her head down, licking the floor in search of food! I mean, only in our household could we find dark and twisted humor in displaying such disturbing images of a character like Krampus as he snatches the Austrian and Bavarian youth from their homes for misbehaving and carrying them off in a wicker basket to some fire pit!

Thank goodness we have shapely body parts, black crows and ghouls made of twine to soften-up the overall look that Krampus adds to our tree. Let’s not forget the spooky, vintage blow-mold of a haunted house at the foot of the tree—when the lights go down, the eerie green and ambient glow adds just the right amount mood to put our Biscuit into a coma! Hell, it puts me straight to sleep too and that just sucks in a household that lacks a DVR!

Now onto Mamma Biscuit’s Halloween friends—aren’t they just so precious? Most are vintage Annalee from the late 60’s however, the Oak tree is a recent addition to our collection. Tommy has also created a wonderful Autumnal cloche in the bedroom that simply highlights death in such a beautiful way! Mamma has adorned almost every corner of the pug palace with either a blow-mold or some vintage classroom paper decoration and garland! As the next weeks unfold, perhaps the Biscuit Lady will share more with all of you!

We have two weeks until Halloween (and to square away any loose ends with Mamma’s costume) and the Biscuits intend to flood this blog with spooky photos and tales from Mamma’s Halloween past—all of which will hopefully inspire our readers to get into the spirit of celebrating the dead!

Now see, that wasn’t so spooky afterall! No fragmented mirrors, fog machines or annoying cackling from some unknown witch! No, just a living space filled with Halloween goodness—now where’s Mamma’s soft-chew treat?


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