Put Some South in Your Mouth!

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Oh, she’s leavin’
(Leavin’)
On that midnight train to Georgia, yeah
(Leavin’ on that midnight train)
Said, she’s goin’ back
(Goin’ back to find)
To a simpler place in time
(When she takes that ride)
Oh yes, she is
(Guess who’s gonna be right by her side)
And I’ll be with her
(I know you will)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leavin’ on that midnight train to Georgia, ooh ooh)

OK, so our lil’ Southern peach Mamma Biscuit did not board a coal-fueled, antiquated train to get her curly tail down to Georgia the way Gladys Knight sang in her famous song but she sure did prance right into our car with a suitcase full of sun dresses, a parasol or three and a bag full of ripe peaches and made her way down South on I-95 to visit Savannah with her two daddies! That’s right y’all, the Yankee Biscuits invaded the deep South (hey, it’s deep according to my comfort levels) this past weekend and boy do we have a whole lot of adventures to share! So buckle up folks, we’re in Jesus country now and if you’ve got an impure thought or lean to the left when it comes to politics, you’re goin’
straight to hell!

Now y’all may recall that Mamma Biscuit was rescued 5 years ago from a puppy mill somewhere out in Georgia. With that said, this visit was a bittersweet reunion for our little gremlin and the peach state. Despite her bout of misfortune churning out litter after litter of puppies years prior, Mamma Biscuit arrived and showed the state of Georgia just how fabulous her life turned out! So what brought us down to the most haunted city in the United States you may ask? My sister! Yep, you done heard me right! My Italian sister took her olive skin, her regional accent from the boogie-down Bronx along with her son and went down South to live with her longtime boyfriend—and has been there now for almost 4 years. When she extended an invitation to come down to visit for a long weekend in early January, we simply could not resist and decided to take her up on her offer! Now each year, Savannah attracts millions of visitors who enjoy the city’s architecture within their many Historical Districts. Oh, and let’s not forger to mention the great butter-pushing, sugar-addicted, deep-fried town hero, Paula Deen. Now fried butter and fried chicken was not exactly what we vegans and vegetarians had in mind but a Southern city that was established in 1733 with a whole lot of history and charm is more of what we were lookin’ for—and that’s what we got! We’re talkin’ about the birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low (founder of the Girl Scouts of the United States of America, (I love me some Girl Scout Cookies, even if their institution is homophobic), the Georgia Historical Society (the oldest continually operating historical society in the South), the Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences (one of the South’s first public museums), the First African Baptist Church (one of the oldest African-American Baptist congregations in the United States—and you know there is a whole lot of hate going on in that building), Temple Mickve Israel (the third oldest synagogue in America—who knew?), the Central of Georgia Railway roundhouse complex (the oldest standing antebellum rail facility in America), River Street along Savannah River, Forsyth Park and 22 parklike squares are just a few of the many amazing sites to see while walking through Savannah. Oh, and let’s not forget those beautifully picturesque tree lined streets on every corner dripping with Spanish moss! Here’s a tip, if you ever find yourself down in this neck of the woods and have the urge to pick at some hanging Spanish moss, DON’T—most likely it will be infested with red ants and it won’t be pretty! Anyway, let’s start our adventure at Forsyth Park, shall we?

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Mamma Biscuit put on her best Southern Belle look and headed down to Savannah to spend a few hours basking in the plush environment of Forsyth Park overlooking the fountain. Now Forsyth Park is the largest city park in Savannah which occupies 30 acres of land. The park was originally created in the 1840s on 10 acres of land donated by William Hodgson. In 1851, the park was expanded and named for Georgia Governor John Forsyth. By 1853, all original planned wards of Savannah were occupied and a large public park was added to the extreme south end of the city plan. This park was anticipated by General James Oglethorpe’s plan and was made possible by a donation of 20 acres of land owned by Forsyth.

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The fountain at the north end of the park was added in 1858 and is totally reminiscent of fountains in the Place de la Concorde in Paris—although this fountain is way smaller than anything in Paris and was originally imported from New York City. At that time, Parisian urban planning was centered on the development of residential neighborhoods radiating out from a central green space. The Parisian model of developing large city parks was emulated by large cities in the United States, with even smaller cities, such as Savannah, asserting their own cosmopolitan image. Every St.Patricks Day the fountain is ceremoniously turned green in celebration of Savannah’s deep Irish heritage—similarly to the way Chicago turns the Chicago River green renaming it The Emerald Isle.

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Let’s just say that the major site to see in this park is the fountain and boy did Mamma Biscuit cause a raucous with her gorgeous frock and silly disposition while sitting on a bench around it. Pulled from Mamma’s Martha Stewart collection, this chic giraffe print voluminous dress paired with a pineapple brooch from the Joan Rivers Collection for QVC really put Mamma’s Southern charm on display.

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The pineapple brooch was just so fitting for this trip considering that we learned (while taking a trolley tour through Savannah) that the history of dinner party etiquette back in the day revolved around real pineapples. A host of any dinner party would simply put two pineapples upon the columns of their doorway and when they wanted their guests to leave, the host would walk out and take one pineapple off to send a signal! I’ll tell you this, the only signal Mamma was sending with her pineapple brooch was one of the come-squeeze-and-kiss-me variety because every passerby stopped to admire her in that exact fashion while I snapped these photos!

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Of course our little gremlin had to bark if she didn’t get her peanut butter treats fast enough between photographs—she’s such a demanding diva during her photoshoots!

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At one point during our photo session, a bride turned the corner along with her mother, sister and professional photographer and she could not handle the unbearable cuteness of Mamma Biscuit. She politely asked if she could take a photo of her holding Mamma Biscuit in the deepest Southern accent I’ve ever heard—and we obviously obliged!

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And here are a couple of portraits of me with my old lady after the bride left. There’s nothing like the sight of a man wearing skintight Wranglers, cowboy boots and a Harley Davidson t-shirt holding a pug dressed like a doll—I know, I’m just sooooo gay and totally proud of it!

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Once we had our fill of Forsyth Park, we changed Mamma Biscuit’s outfit to a more casual sun dress and hit the town hard exploring all of Savannah!

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So hop on to Mamma’s virtual trolley tour and take a ride, there’s a whole lot see y’all!

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The Historic Mercer Williams House.

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A quick snuggle with Mamma Biscuit in one of the many squares in town before we continued on with our tour!

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Historic Savannah Theater.

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We stopped for some sorbet at Leopold’s Ice Cream shop wear Mamma Biscuit was recognized by a longtime reader of Door Sixteen! She said that she recognized Mamma’s extra long tongue from a mile away and that she had absolutely no idea that Mamma has her very own blog—here’s hoping she begins reading our blog!

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Of course we hit Paula Deen’s store and adjacent Lady and Sons restaurant! Paula Deen has practically cornered every aspect of merchandising—from books to kitchen ware, seasonal items to jewelry and a whole line of interestingly named spices. We were so close to purchasing her Butt Massage spice for obvious reasons!

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City Hall . . .

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. . . and along River Street overlooking the Savannah River.

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Historic Colonial Park Cemetery.

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By the end of our tour, Mamma Biscuit was as snug as a bug in her travel bag, occasionally peaking her head out to assess her immediate environment. Savannah is a wonderful city filled with so much history and old Southern charm—and with a pug named Mamma Biscuit sporting an extra long tongue, we seem to fit in just fine!

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Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, Outdoor Life, Portraits, Travel | 22 Comments

Throwback Thursday #1

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It’s time to wax nostalgia here on Mamma’s little corner on the web! A couple of weeks ago we shared some really old photographs of our Biscuit Lady to celebrate my birthday and it was a huge hit with you all. Actually, it was a huge hit with me personally because scouring through old photographs of M. B. made me giddy with delight! It’s so rewarding to see how Mamma has transformed in the four and a half years that we’ve had her! Her hair may have gotten grayer and she may have lost the last few teeth in her mouth along the way but she still has an impeccable sense of style! So in keeping with this spirit, I thought It would be a great idea to continue sharing vintage photographs from Mamma’s extensive archives on a monthly basis. That’s right, we are swingin’ the doors to the vault wide open for the first Thursday of every month to highlight never-before-seen photos of Mamma Biscuit or to revisit photos from one of her many iconic moments from her past! It’s really the right thing to do at this point in Mamma’s career as a pug icon here on the web. It’s important to understand Mamma’s humble beginnings to understand the rise of her stardom—and where she will be heading next. So our first official Throwback Thursday starts now and boy did we pick a great fashion moment for Mamma to kick this new tradition off!

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Our Lady of Biscuits was in pure high-fashion heaven here when she realized that her dress had a five-foot bone-colored tulle train that extended out from her layered, pale pink, ruffled tulle hem. Just watching Mamma run off into the kitchen looking for a soft-chew treat while dragging that absurd amount of tulle across the floor simply tickled the crap out of me—she really knows how to wreck havoc on a set. At any rate, Mamma is giving us all an insane amount of canine couture here and it’s totally worth revisiting. Grace Coddington would totally approve!

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I sometimes wonder what our neighbors would say if they knew what was going on during one of these high-fashion photoshoots at the pug palace. After all, we live in Washington Heights—a far cry from Madison Avenue and the only couture I see walking out of our building (aside from anything we may be wearing, obviously) is Juicy Couture—yeah, enough said.

So that’s it folks, our first official Throwback Thursday for the month of April! Here’s hoping I can keep up with this tradition come May because I’ve been very forgetful lately—looks like Mamma ain’t the only one getting old in our household!

Posted in Throwback Thursday | 8 Comments

Hoppy Easta!

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Hoppy Easta! It’s what I heard over and over again growing up in an immigrant Italian family during this time of year. It was really comical for a whippersnapper like myself to overhear my Italian mother totally destroy the phrase, “Happy Easter” when any one of my relatives stepped foot into our home for an Easter dinner! I know, I was such a jerk back then but I conveniently blame my older brother for encouraging my insensitive behavior—he was older, he should have known better! Anyway, out of total frustration and annoyance, my mother simply reverted back to speaking Italian so she wouldn’t have to hear us snickering at her accent every time she attempted such a Holiday greeting—and sometimes, she’d put us right back in our place by saying, “you try and say something in Italian” to which we responded with dead silence! So “Buona Pasqua” it was before she returned to the oven to check on her roast of lamb and potatoes. I have no idea what made me think of this memory considering my mother still says Hoppy Easta (no bunny-pun intended) and I still jokingly laugh when I hear her say it but it was the first Easter memory that came to my mind while photographing Mamma Biscuit for this post! I guess I thought that Mamma’s “Easta” dress made her look a bit like an old Italian lady from the mountains of Calabria—or one that works at a bakery on Arthur Avenue! It’s part apron and part house dress and that gingham pattern can totally double up as a table cloth for any table at any restaurant down on Mulberry Street in Little Italy!

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So here she is, our toothless Italian pug giving her best “Ciao, Francesco Rinaldi” pose in front of Mr. Easter Bunny! Really, the Easter holiday would not be complete without a visit from the Easter Bunny here at the Pug Palace. After all, what better way can Mamma Biscuit commemorate the betrayal, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ than to carouse around with an egg-pushing, jellybean-hoarding stuffed bunny? By the way, that was a rhetorical question, stop thinking about it, there really is no other better way!

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Anyway, this Annalee Easter bunny was a gift that my mother gave to us four years ago and we just love him! Ok, maybe he looks like the neighborhood child molester dressed as the “Easta” Bunny but Mamma seems to like him—we’re just careful that she doesn’t accidently sit on his lap while she scours the apartment looking for Easter eggs!

Speaking of the Easter Bunny and Easter decorations, Mamma’s annual Easter tree is up and has been for the past three weeks. It stands in our living room corner in all of its Easter glory bringing us a much needed Springtime cheer in the never-ending Winter we’ve been having.

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Created with three bushels of pussy willows, aquamarine colored eggs piled at the bottom of the vase for aesthetic support and trimmed with vintage hand cut paper ornaments, cracked eggs, glass birds and paper carrots—this display is one giant Easter extravaganza!

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I’m always amazed at how good Mamma Biscuit is about not bumping into any display we put up in the home with her stout frame—Christmas must have taught her a thing or two about maneuvering around home decor within our living environment, that’s for sure!

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The Pug Palace would not be complete during any Holiday without some cute and adorable vintage pieces scattered about!

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After fifteen minutes of Mamma Biscuit running around the Easter Bunny in her gingham dress, she suddenly morphed into a cross between Loni Anderson and Taylor Armstrong from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills—in other words, she turned into a duck! That’s right, don’t adjust your monitors at home because Mamma Biscuit is bringing you all duck-realness—just in time for the egg hunt!

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I seriously couldn’t stop laughing as I put this crazy costume on her! I felt like I was the mother from A Christmas Story forcing poor Ralphie to try on that damn pink bunny suit that his aunt made for him on Christmas morning! All Ralphie wanted to do was run outside with his new Red Ryder BB gun to shoot his eye out but his mother was relentless! Well so was I! I just had to get a photo of my little dumpling in this duck costume that I picked up several months ago from the clearance bin at her groomers establishment—ONLY 5 BUCKS!

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At any rate, both Loni Anderson and Taylor Armstrong and their respective botox-injected bills have nothing on Mamma in this get-up!

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So in our best broken English accent, Mamma Biscuit and family would like to wish you all a very Hoppy Easta—and if you think we’re gonna sacrifice any lamb for the occasion, you can forgettaboutit!

Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, Holiday, Vintage | 12 Comments

Meet You at Bethesda?

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Ahhh, Bethesda Terrace, what a beautifully iconic spot in Central Park overlooking the lake here in NYC! The two grand staircases and a lesser one that passes under Terrace Drive along with the Bethesda Fountain seemed like the perfect location for Mamma Biscuit to hash out one last Winter photoshoot before the warmer weather arrives! Oh who am I kidding? It was freaking cold out there this past Sunday and there are no signs of warmer weather on the horizon—even though the halls at the Pug Palace have been decked out with Easter decorations for weeks now! If we get anymore snow in New York City I think I’m gonna scream! I’m so over having to practically give Mamma Biscuit a bath after returning back inside from a simple walk! Now despite the frigid wind chills, many people still ventured out to Central Park looking to take long, aimless walks to whittle away their Sunday afternoon—Mamma Biscuit included! Actually, earlier in the morning, we got a phone call from the one and only Joan Rivers who just had to speak with the Lady of our home! Now I know what your thinking and quite honestly, we’re used to it—OUR GIRL IS A STAR so it’s not unusual to have some of Hollywood’s elite calling to speak with our pug! I must admit though, ever since Mamma Biscuit was featured on BuzzFeed as The Most Stylish Pug in America along with Company Magazine over in the UK asking the rhetorical question, Is This the Most Stylish Pug on Earth?, our phone has been ringing more than usual! It turns out that potty mouth Joan Rivers is looking for another bitch to add to the panel of bitches on her popular show, Fashion Police on E!—and she’s got Mamma on her radar! Why wouldn’t she? Our little gremlin has a closet full of canine couture that could give Rachel Zoe a run for her money and a brooch collection that would make even the late Nan Kempner
green with envy!

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So after some heavy snorting and licking the phone receiver a few times, Joan agreed to meet Mamma in Central Park, right by the fountain so they could discuss her television opportunities on E! How apropos that the fountain was dry as a bone because both Mamma and Joan could use a little somethin’ somethin’ from any fountain of youth! Rising from Bethesda Terrace is Bethesda Fountain, with the famous Angel of the Waters statue atop. The statue references the Gospel of John, which describes an angel blessing the Pool of Bethesda and giving it healing powers—meanwhile, that pool was completely empty during our visit! UGHH, Winter—we really hate you!

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The fountain commemorates the Croton water system which first brought fresh water to New York City in 1842! The angel carries a lily in her left hand—a symbol of the water’s purity which is very important to a city that had previously suffered from a devastating cholera epidemic before the system was established. The piece is the only statue that was commissioned for the Park. Created by Emma Stebbins, it also marked the first time a woman received a public art commission in New York City. PERFECT, a spot where female empowerment thrives—first with Emma Stebbins and now with Mamma Biscuit and Joan Rivers!

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Anyway, as we waited for Skeletor Rivers to arrive by way of a walker or a gurney, we decided to take a few portraits of the Biscuit Lady in one of her new faux mink coats with silver sequin details! Now those of you who have visited Bethesda Terrace and Fountain before would know that the overall feeling of the architecture is Gothic in nature—so in that spirit, Mamma decided to showcase one of her most exciting brooches yet; a giant, black crystal chandelier!

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As I placed Mamma down on one of the round, wooden benches with wrought iron posts alongside the mall outside of Elkan Naumburg Bandshell, you could hear the jingle-jangle of her jewelry from a mile away as she scoured the endless surface of seating for a morsel of something edible! After pulling out a small piece of glass and a flat cigarette butt with a lipstick stain from her mouth, Mamma struck a pose—or four in her warm, plushy frock giving us and every bystander a taste of old New York glamour! The crowd behind drew thick as people admired Mamma’s style and moxie—that’s when it struck me: this is exactly why Joan wants the beast on her show!

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As we waited further, we had Mamma Biscuit take the stage of the Elkan Naumburg Bandshell along the Central Park Mall to give us her best American Idol moment!

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From there we walked down that smaller staircase where we marveled at the amazing mustard-olive colored carved stone cappings with granite steps and landings, and herringbone paving of Roman brick laid on edge. The underpass has a few beautiful frescos on the wall and one incredible ceiling. The Minton encaustic tiles on the ceiling were removed in 1987, cleaned, restored, completed with additional new tiles and reinstalled in 2007.

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Mamma Biscuit practically became one with the intricate stone work and Gothic vignettes alongside the the walls and end caps!

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It took about an hour but Joan Rivers finally showed up with more make-up on her face than Ann Miller! She and Mamma Biscuit had a power discussion about possibly taking up a stint on Fashion Police on E!—and the prospects are lookin’ real good people!

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In the meanwhile, Mamma and I are both wondering when we can put away the heavy coats and dresses and welcome in some more Spring-like weather and attire—hopefully soon!

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Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, NYC Life, Portraits | 12 Comments

Who Are You Callin’ Old?

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Ugh, today I turn 36 years old. I seriously can’t believe it! Just saying it to myself sounds so alien to me. How the hell did this happen? It seems like just last year I graduated college with boundless physical energy and with only two utility bills to pay—and now, here I am, 36 and in bed by 11pm every night—but don’t worry, Mamma Biscuit and I manage to watch Judge Judy from 10 to 11pm before I officially pass out! As cliché as it may sound, time does truly fly by—especially when you’re having fun living here in New York City. It seems like just last year we brought Mamma Biscuit home with us to her forever home—away from the horrors of her puppy mill past. Truth is, she’s been in our lives for almost 4 1/2 years now and life before our little gremlin seems like a vague memory I’d rather not revisit! Why would I? Mamma is the best thing to happen to me since Tommy walked into my life. Honestly, a home is not a home without a dog and if I could, I’d revise that Dionne Warwick song to reflect such a sentiment! But back to my self-pity rant for a moment; I’m literally still waiting for that “thing” to happen in my life that would indicate to me that I’ve become an official adult! I seriously have no idea how an adult should act like or feel like internally because mentally, I feel like I’m 23 years old. I still laugh like an immature boy when I hear the word penis or vagina used in any sort of conversation (LOL I’m laughing right now just typing those words in this post) and my biggest concern in life is not whether or not the world will ever find a peaceful resolution in the Middle East but rather if Madonna will have another Top 40 hit in this country—and the prospects seem bleak on both counts if you ask my opinion! So naturally, I turned to seek comfort from Mamma Biscuit because Tommy is not entertaining any of my bullshit considering he just turned 37 in January! Well, no such luck because it turns out that Mamma’s not giving me the time of day either. The Biscuit Lady has given me the “Bitch Please” side-eye and turned her back on me only to stick her butt in my face before curling down into a ball to go to sleep on the sofa! She’s probably thinking to herself that she’s 12 years old which would make her 84 in human years and she’s not even eligible to collect Social Security—a fixed income has got to suck! She’s also spent the first 7 years of her life imprisoned indoors in a puppy mill, forced to create litter after litter of puppies to be sold at pet stores across this country, so really, I should just put my shit in perspective and get over it! Come to think of it, I am an adult! I have a career of sorts (giggling), a 401K plan, a partner whom I love dearly and a pug that makes our world worth living—and the fact that I still have my dark and sometimes immature sense of humor intact is just an added bonus! I’ll curb my complaints until I reach an age where having a leg cramp becomes a reliable indication of bad weather on the horizon—until then, I’ll shut my mouth for the rest of today and keep it moving!

Now, I’ve never been one to actually make any sort of fuss or want a big party to celebrate my birthday. Having a room full of family, coworkers and friends gathered to celebrate the haphazard moment that I was born makes me want to cringe with embarrassment! So Tommy and Mamma Biscuit were respectful and thoughtful enough to surprise me with Sweet Semosh chocolate-chocolate-chip cupcakes and almond-chocolate chip cookies to kick off my day—just the three of us! Those who know me best know that I’m a huge cowboy boot fanatic (I have about 20 pairs of boots, probably more if I dig deeper in my closets) and love anything western related so Tommy garnished these sweets with some really cool western cupcake liners and iconic western toppers made of paper!

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It seemed only fitting to grab my cowboy hat, my old lady, Mamma Biscuit, and pose for some Sears-style birthday portraits in front of this lovely spread of sweets! YEEHA! All that’s missing is a crackling fire place behind us and Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers spinning on the record player! By the way, this off white cowboy hat made of felt was a hand-me-down gift from Tommy’s grandpa several years ago. Papa is the coolest man I know! He’s got the same sounding voice and swagger of Mr. Johnny Cash and the man is in his late 90’s and still wears his boots, spurs, vest, hat and turquoise jewelry while managing to upkeep the trimming and styling of his facial hair. In other words, he’s the man I aspire to be when I grow up!

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I think I see a little pug head peaking up at the sweets, do you?

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Another photo wearing my black cowboy hat—nothing wrong with a costume change!

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Birthdays make me reflective and nostalgic and I thought what better way to celebrate here on Mamma’s blog than to open the vault on some really old photographs of our favorite toothless pug on the internet! It’s really my gift to you all for sticking around to see exactly what Mamma Biscuit is up to from week to week and how her golden years unfold here in NYC! So come along down Mamma’s memory lane, you’re gonna love it!

Bath time with Mamma can be one tongue-rolling experience!

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Elegance on a hideous sofa!

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It may be my birthday but Mamma is always the belle of every ball!

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Lounging and it feels so good!

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The Queen of our pantheon!

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Horsin’ around!

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Yachting with the Biscuit Lady!

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It’s all about Mamma Biscuit no matter what day it may be! I don’t care if you are the Queen of England and it’s your birthday, if Mamma Biscuit is in the room, you’ll have to take a back seat to her!

Enjoy

Posted in Holiday, Just Because . . . | 24 Comments