Wimpy Winter!

Posted on January 23, 2012

So this past weekend, Mother Nature decided to remind us all that we’re still in the midst of the Winter season by dumping some snow all over our concrete island—and I must confess, we Biscuits were totally unimpressed with her efforts. Now it’s not like Mamma Biscuit needs any excuse like a snow storm to curl up in the Pug Palace for 48 hours to eat and sleep among the blue of a TV screen light (please, our bitch actually does just that anytime she wants no matter what season it is) and it’s not like we were looking to get completely snowed in either! The reality is, compared to the blizzard we had last year in January, this one was wimpy and weak. Now while everyone on Facebook has been busily posting their perfectly-sepia instagram photos of their outdoor experiences with these paltry 2-4 inches on the ground (which has now turned into black slush, dirt and piles of urine-soaked ice in the 50 degree temperatures and rain) I’ve decided to share with you all photos we took last year around the same time of a truly wonderful blizzard worth documenting!




Now I remember this morning so vividly like it was yesterday. We woke up to almost a foot and half of snow on the ground and I just couldn’t wait to get myself out there in Fort Tryon Park with Mamma Biscuit, Tommy and my camera! The snow was like powdered sugar and our natural environment practically resembled a winter wonderland set—hardly like what we woke up to this past Saturday morning. No, this time around, it was so damn cold and the snow was so icy and wet that all I could do was keep Mamma’s walk to a quick pee, poop and prance excursion!




So come along and take a stroll down memory lane with Mamma Biscuit. Like Johnny Mathis sang, it’s a marshmallow world in the Winter, and these photos prove that very sentiment.




And don’t forget to wear your snow boots, gloves and hat while looking at these photos—they can make you yearn for a cup of hot cocoa and a crackling fireplace!




Enjoy

Posted in NYC Life, Outdoor Life | 6 Comments

A little bit of Art in her Heart!

Posted on January 18, 2012

OK, contrary to what you all might expect from us, Mamma Biscuit did not join us at the Guggenheim Museum to check out Maurizio Cattelan’s exhibit entitled All this past Saturday evening—Tommy’s Birthday. I have no doubt that either Frank Lloyd Wright, Peggy Guggenheim or Maurizio himself would have a problem with a pug being carried in a Lacoste bag through the spiral hallways of the rotunda at the museum (dogs need art in their lives too) but unfortunately, the admissions staff would! Anyway, don’t feel so bad, we spent the entire day with our gremlin—cuddling and napping before heading out in the early evening to take advantage of the museum’s policy of pay-what-you will every Saturday starting after 5:30 pm. So we kissed our Biscuit Lady goodbye and headed out into the freezing cold to wait in line to check out this amazing exhibit—and boy was it worth it!

Now onto the art.


Maurizio Cattelan has created a radical retrospect by suspending his entire body of work in a disorienting and seemingly haphazard mass in the center of the building’s rotunda. What a way to say “Fuck You” to ordered hierarchy between each piece as well as conventional viewing conditions but I can’t say I’m surprised considering who the artist is. This unorthodox presentation, which is visible to visitors from the moment they step onto the ground floor and from each ascending ramp brings together every work the artist has created since 1989.




We are talking about sculptures, paintings, photographs and works on paper. You could say that the presentation itself is one giant piece of art and if you have the chance, we would suggest you go and see it for yourself—but hurry, the exhibit is closing on January 22, 2012.




You can also check out this incredible video of how this entire exhibit was put together and read more about the artist by clicking here. I have to admit that I’m not a true fan of Maurizio’s work individually (not really because of the content but rather the aesthetic of each piece) but presented All in this fashion is quite impressive. It’s like playing the visual game of Finding Waldo but instead of looking for Waldo, you’re trying to find a miniature sculpture of Hitler or a John F. Kennedy in an open casket or the notorious sculpture of Pope John Paul II fallen by a meteorite!



The provocative irony and prankster quality to his subject matter really afforded me some great laughs and honestly, I can’t recall the last time I’ve laughed in a museum! Actually, the last time I’ve laughed in a museum was while we were at The Hermitage in St. Petersburg, Russia. I actually witnessed Tommy writing a journal entry while viewing one piece of art work on the wall for over 30 minutes—who the hell does that? Especially with my kind of travel itinerary!



Enjoy

Posted in Design, NYC Life | 6 Comments

Early-Bird Birthday Wish!

Posted on January 14, 2012

I’ve been running around this damn tree trunk coffee table all morning waiting for Daddy Tommy to wake up—I’ve got a yummy birthday surprise waiting for him! Snort, Snort! That’s right, today is Tommy’s birthday and big Daddy John and I woke up this morning to prepare a cake stand full of Sweet Semosh Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins, and boy is he going to be happy. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wake up to this—especially on their birthday?

Now this breakfast (or anytime) treat is perfect for those mildly sweet cravings I get from time to time. Oh who am I kidding, my cravings are less specific than that, I’ll eat anything those two consider food (at any given moment throughout the day) as long as they are willing to share it with me! I know, I know, I’m supposed to stay away from chocolate chips but that limitation won’t matter to the birthday boy or that big lug, John. The banana chocolate chip combination coupled with the streusel topping packed with oats, sugar, and a pinch of salt will be a big hit with my two boys because they dig a good sweet and savory treat the way that I dig a soft-chew buddy treat and a kiss on my forehead!


So Daddy John dressed me up in this baby pink hoody with chocolate brown and pink polka dot trimming with the word “Sweetheart” spelled out along the backside in script. I get it! Daddy Tommy always calls me sweetheart and yeah, I’m his sweetheart—just as much as I am Daddy Johns’ “best girl” as he puts it!


I love them both, I mean, I follow them both around the pug palace like a shadow just to prove my love. Snort, Snort! Anyway, I want to wish Daddy Tommy a very Happy Birthday and to thank him for being the best Daddy a rescue pug like myself could ever ask for! He’s so patient and loving. He takes me for long walks, feeds me and likes to snuggle on the sofa at night while that big lug Daddy John pigs out on Snapea Crisps! Snort, Snort! Happy Birthday Daddy Tommy,
I RUFF YOU!

Enjoy

Posted in First-person narrative, Holiday | 6 Comments

Mamma’s January holiday picks!

Posted on January 11, 2012

It’s time to lift everyone’s spirits! Our trees may be dead and thrown into large, annoying piles along the sidewalk of every corner in this city but Mamma’s here to remind you all that Christmas 2012 is just 348 days away—and it’s never too early to start planning! As you know by now, we Biscuits have Christmas on our minds and in our hearts all year long. We feel especially sad and blue in January when the festivities come to an end and Mamma has to pack up her Christmas workshop for the year. So back to lifting everyone’s spirits—we have put together a lovely post of some of the fantastic holiday trim we found this year during the after Christmas sales throughout NYC. I know what you’re thinking, like we need any more ornaments on our already overstuffed tree and well, quite frankly, we do need more ornaments! THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH when it comes to Christmas so come along and check out Mamma’s treasures—all at 50% off the retail price!

First on our holiday trim tour is this amazing glass ornament from Kurt S. Adler’s Polonaise Collection. This hand blown Roman muscle stud lifting a marble column is exactly what our gay household needs to complete our holiday display!

Actually, what we really need is a few of these pornaments on our tree but this collection is never part of the 50% off after-Christmas-sale! I guess SEX is rarely discounted—holiday or not. Just ask 52-year-old Barbara Terry, New York City’s hardest working prostitute, she’ll confirm this. But back to this hefty ornament—it was carefully hand blown in Poland with fine sculpted detail. It was silvered, lacquered and then painted in exquisite colors. I have been watching this exact ornament now for the past three years. That’s right, every year I would see this exact ornament pinned to the drop ceiling of Rainbows and Triangles (our gay bookstore here in Chelsea, NYC) and every year I swore I would go in and buy it when it was 50% off—and then somehow, I would forget to do so. Well not this year! I made a point of finally staking my claim on this incredible ornament—amazed that it was totally overlooked for the past three years amongst all the other crap hanging next to it! I mean really, do these gay boys really care for resin ornaments of a rainbow flag over a glass masterpiece like this? I guess they do! Oh well, I clearly benefited from their bad taste so I really shouldn’t be complaining!

I’m gonna have to make some serious room on our tree next year for this baby, but whatever I do, I’ll make sure I won’t hang it low as Mamma Biscuit has taken on a new obsession of camping out under the tree—and unfortunately, her curled tail bumps into all of our low hanging glass ornaments! The sound of glass clanging together when she makes a trip under our tree is truly cringe worthy!

Second on our trim tour is this amazing flat glass ball ornament showcasing an etched drawing of a ship inside.

I’ve seen this baby sold everywhere this year—although I first saw it several years ago in Provincetown and never bought it! I guess the theme for acquiring new trim after Christmas this year was to snag the things that I’ve had my eye on for a long time—because once they’re gone, they’re gone! Now the front exterior of this baby is clear, obviously and the back exterior is silver-glittered but the etched drawing on the inside hearkens to a ship in a bottle sculpture! Good thing Mamma Biscuit doesn’t get sea-sick because she totally approved this nautical beauty!

Third on our list is this Venetian-style ornament of a lady gymnast doing what she does best—stretching and posing!

I actually acquired this along with the Roman/Greek muscle stud at Rainbow and Triangles. It’s hand-blown glass with a flocked teal uniform and hand painted face—not bad for a China-made ornament. Those folks in China have really honed in on their craft and it shows!

Fourth on our list is this semi-nude mermaid ornament made of canvas, yarn and silver sequins.

The moment I saw this, my mind immediately flooded with flashbacks of Daryl Hannaha and Tom Hanks in the movie Splash. OK, she may not have beautifully long, blond hair like Daryl has in the movie (she’s more like carrot top than anything else) but she sure has a beautifully sparkled tail—and I respond to sparkle!

And lastly, these vintage gold, coiled, metal drop ornaments. I honestly wish I could have gotten my paws on more of these golden drops because they are perfect for our archway garland!

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed our post-Christmas, Christmas post—it has surely taken us out of our mid-Winter blues! Even Mamma Biscuit is back to wagging her wet, sloppy tongue in anticipation for Christmas 2012!

Enjoy

Posted in Holiday | 3 Comments

Jenny . . . err I mean Mamma from the Block!

Posted on January 6, 2012

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, she’s still Mamma from the block! She used to have a little, now she’s got a lot, no matter where the little Biscuit Lady goes, she knows where she comes from—Washington Heights! Unlike Jennifer Lopez, our little bitch ain’t too big or proud to actually be on set in the hood to take these photos. Yes, I’m throwing that donkey butt under the bus because no one in the South Bronx is driving around in a Fiat 500—their On The 6 train or the Bx27 bus like the rest of us!


At any rate, here is Mamma Biscuit showing her love for our hood by posing in her new Versace for H&M Winter coat in front of her favorite graffiti wall mural! That’s right, the old-wrinkled-leather-handbag-soaked-in-mahogany-oil known as Donnatella Versace has sent our little Biscuit Lady this fabulous Mob-Wives-inspired coat—Eiffel Tower brooch not included! Designers are always sending care packages of couture clothing to the pug palace—all vying for Mamma to model their designer wares! What can we say, it’s all about Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Kate Moss and Mamma Biscuit—our bitch is a supermodel!



Now what better way to showcase this fabulous faux fur number than to hit the dirty streets of Washington Heights in search for a milk crate, a photo opportunity and a dream! So the wind was kicking, the temps were low and Mamma worked this photoshoot like a pro. The only thing missing was a box radio, a large crowd of dancers alla Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock in the It Takes Two music video and a pair of door-knocking ghetto hoop earrings to finish off the overall look—and don’t put it past me, I was considering to put a giant pair of gold hoops hanging from Mamma’s floppy ears, digitally!



As I have said numerous times before—Mamma’s a ‘round the way girl that knows how to keep it real!



Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, NYC Life | 2 Comments