How about them apples?

Posted on October 15, 2011

Today Mamma Biscuit will embark on her annual trip up to Highland, New York to visit the lovely Wilklow Orchards. The Biscuit Family looks forward every year to this fun-filled day of apple and pumpkin picking and having a lovely picnic with friends on the sprawling grounds. Let’s just hope that those grounds aren’t too muddy after a few days of rain!


Our little gremlin loves this time of year—when the temperatures are just cool enough for her to spend an entire day outdoors, running around on the grass along the apple trees and occasionally stopping to mark her territory!


There is nothing we love more than to be able to run after the Biscuit Beast as she waddles over piles of half-eaten apples on the ground and weaves her stout frame in and around the rows of apple trees! Between the strong scent of pectin in the air and the fresh grass, the experience seems to be a bit of a sensory overload for Mamma—she becomes super excited and super energetic to sniff around and explore!


On a confessional note, I personally look forward to grabbing a few apples off a branch, taking a bite out of them and then line-driving the rest onto a pile of rocks along a babbling brook on the orchard’s edge—I know, physically I’m in my mid-thirties but mentally, I’m still fourteen and yearning to walk on the third-rail along the train tracks! What can I say, after 20 minutes of apple picking and taking photographs, I’m ready to play baseball if you know what I mean!



Anyway, I thought I would share with you all these wonderful photos of Mamma’s first experience at the orchards. This was the first time Mamma had ever stepped foot on an apple orchard and probably the first time she has ever eaten an apple right off the branch. It was a perfect day and we intend on having yet another perfect day today! See you on the fields!



Happy Autumn Everyone!

Enjoy

Posted in Outdoor Life | 4 Comments

Mamma’s Autumnal Christmas picks!

Posted on October 11, 2011

Our little Biscuit Lady has managed to find time in her schedule (and most importantly, in her heart) to share with you all a quick Christmas update amidst all of the chaos at the pug palace as she prepares for the upcoming Halloween holiday. Now let me tell you, in the Biscuit household, planning for Halloween can be just as exhausting as preparing for Santa’s arrival! Between Mamma’s carefully-crafted costume to trimming the entire pug palace with spooky decor (more to come with that next week) and everything in between, it’s only fitting that our four-legged beast with a prosciutto tongue takes a moment to touch base with the holiday that matters the most—Christmas!

So, several weeks ago, we Biscuits found ourselves out in Laurel, Long Island scouring the town for seasonal items (I know, what else is new?) and we came across these two mid-century beauties from literally, a pile of junk! As you all already know, anything that was created in “Occupied Japan” in the 50’s and made out of flocked material, pipe cleaners or Styrofoam really captures Mamma’s attention—so when these two Christmas gnomes surfaced, she barked with approval!


Now take a look at the craftsmanship of these two little characters—the faces alone have such great, hand-painted detailing and overall personality and although these ornaments are as fragile as one of Mamma’s soft-chew treats, the construction, overall coloring and use of materials are so beautifully well executed. Unfortunately, this type of quality is just not the norm anymore with contemporary seasonal ornaments and that’s just SAD!


To further this point, the other night Mamma Biscuit and I were spooning on the sofa and watching a Christmas segment on QVC and I couldn’t help but notice just how aesthetically gross contemporary ornaments seem to be. What’s worse is that the craft and materials used are equally just as bad! The colors are just so garish and there is such a huge lack of overall spirit with new merchandise that the segment left me wondering: does the general public really want ornaments made out of resin? really? and do they want them in a shade of purple that was clearly referenced from Welch’s Grape Juice? Not Mamma Biscuit! No, our gremlin prefers a more luxurious material for her seasonal trim—like plastic or Styrofoam!

Enjoy our finds and remember, don’t let Halloween be such a distraction, Christmas is only 74 days away—get crackin’ people!

Posted in Holiday, Vintage | Leave a comment

Mamma swims with the fishes!

Posted on October 8, 2011

Wait a minute, what happened? I could have sworn I was on the subway, sleeping in my Lacosté travel bag, piled onto Daddy’s lap and now I’m suddenly under water? What are these fish doing here in my presence? Am I really underwater? I can’t swim, I can barely float comfortably on a simple, inflatable pool boat for infants let alone be this close to deep sea creatures! Is Daddy really standing under water holding me? I’m so confused and so hungry. Maybe if I shift in this bag long enough Daddy will take me out of this water and away from these fish so he can give me a few soft-chew treats!

OH wait, now I know where I am. We’re at the 81st Street subway stop by the Museum of Natural History, along Central Park West—and this is just a seascape made of mosaic tiles. Whew, and here I thought I was gonna have to doggy-paddle myself out of this bag and away from the looming shark circling above my head! My Daddies are so silly, always playing tricks on me. It’s OK though, I’ll show them! I think tonight I’ll pee on their kitchen floor—just before either one of them get the urge to walk into the kitchen without turning on the lights to grab a bag of Utz potato chips!

Enjoy

Posted in First-person narrative, NYC Life | Leave a comment

Ship Ahoy!

Posted on October 5, 2011

Mamma Biscuit and family spent a lazy afternoon last weekend with friends on Pier 86 overlooking the Intrepid here in New York City. I’m so glad to see that this gigantic aircraft carrier/museum is parked back in its original spot on the Hudson River—it was gone for a while and I had no idea why! The Intrepid also sits right next to the Circle Line so as we passed the ticket booth on our way to meet our friends, my mind flooded with memories of my childhood. Picture me at 10-years old embarking on a dreaded and annoyingly long-ass boat ride around the entire island of Manhattan with my equally annoying and loud Italian family—it’s a memory I would rather forget—but I digress!


Anyway, we spent an afternoon sitting at the end of the pier overlooking the Hudson River with our friend Vadim (Mamma Biscuit’s self-hating-Ukranian drunk uncle) and our friends Greg and Jonathan. We gossiped and gabbed the entire time like a pack of old Russian-Jewish ladies sitting outside of an apartment building in Brighton Beach. We basically bitched about everything and anything (that’s what we Homosexuals do best) while Mamma Biscuit was circling around the stationary picnic table scouring the pier floor for anything edible! Our obnoxious conversation reached a crescendo when uncle Vadim (after taking a swig from his flask) vehemently attacked us about the salt levels in the Hudson River and suggested that the sail boat floating towards us (in the distance) with a pack of people on board were refugees (I’m guessing from the People’s Republic of Ralph Lauren because that boat and those people looked practically editorial in my opinion) Anyway, at that point we decided that it was a perfect time to break away from the table for a small photoshoot with the Biscuit Lady overlooking the grand Intrepid!

Now let me tell you, Mamma Biscuit could care less about the gigantic hunk of metal floating behind her in these photos. No, our little gremlin was completely focused on the dangling piece of treat behind the lens of my camera! Hey, whatever I can use to get the damn shot—I had so much working against me to begin with—our Biscuit Lady and her paws kept sliding between those slats on that wooden bench. Anyway, here is Mamma looking like she’s ready to head to her first USO Dance! Now if only I had brought one of her many vintage hats with me to the pier—maybe next time!



Enjoy

Posted in NYC Life | 3 Comments

Halloween becomes her!

Posted on October 1, 2011

It’s October first and today marks the beginning of a month-long journey of Halloween planning for the Biscuit Family. As you can see, Frankenstein (wearing a fantastic, vintage, leather motorcycle jacket I might add) has physically captured our little gremlin so that he can ignite the spirit of Halloween in her little doggie heart—and judging by the glazed look on her face, we think she’s fully ready to get started! Ready for what you might ask? Well, for starters, Mamma Biscuit will not be sitting in a pumpkin patch alongside Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin to appear (sorry to disappoint any of you Charles M. Schulz fans out there but our Biscuit Lady is way too smart for that blockhead Linus and his stories) NO, Mamma will be too busy toiling away at the Pug Palace working on her costume for this years Annual Howl-o-ween Dog Parade and Costume Contest in the Sir William’s Dog Run in Fort Tryon Park. As you all may recall, Mamma Biscuit had channeled her best impression of Anna Wintour for Dogue Magazine last year (her efforts and creativity were rewarded with Best Homemade Costume and Best in Show certificates) so she’s got a lot of work ahead of her if she intends on making a splash this year with something equally as fantastic!


In the meantime, Mamma Biscuit will be exhausting all of her efforts to erect her great Halloween tree and generally decorating the entire Pug Palace with spooky, ghoulish accents along with many tricks (forget rolling over, watch her nap for 10 hours, viola) and treats (soft-chew preferably) to usher in the celebration of the dead. But don’t get it twisted, it’s not all work and no play in our household. Mamma Biscuit will definitely take a moment to sit down with her two daddies to watch the ever classic The Worst Witch, starring Diana Rigg, Charlotte Rae, Tim Curry, Fairuza Balk and a cauldron! For those of you who have never seen this Halloween classic then I suggest you click here! Now if those incredibly awful video affects from the 80’s and Tim Curry as the Grand Wizard singing Anything Can Happen on Halloween doesn’t make you weak in the knees or make you want to watch this movie every year during Halloween than you might as well be dead!

Put your paws up little monsters, Hallowe’en is upon us!

Enjoy

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