A Pug in Provincetown!

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It’s been about two weeks since we last posted something new on Mamma’s little corner on the web here, and I swear to you all, we have a good excuse for our disappearance. Last week, Mamma Biscuit packed up a few Summer frocks, a case of kibble and a bag or two of soft-chew peanut butter treats and pranced right out the door and into our car to embark on a road trip with Tommy and I to Provincetown. Our pug needed a fun-filled week in the sun with the gays of New England before ushering in the Autumn season—and what better week to go than Carnival Week, the gayest time to visit! Now see, I told you we had a legitimate reason for skipping a couple of weeks of blogging! Anyway, this late Summer getaway to Provincetown has been planned out for a really long time now and it was so wonderful to finally return to our favorite spot on the Cape since our last visit three years ago. Now before we dive into Mamma’s adventures on and off the bay (and a few adventures of our own throughout the week) we would like to share with you all just how much Provincetown means to us.

Now for those of you who don’t know, Provincetown is a New England village located at the extreme tip of Cape Cod in Barnstable County, Massachusetts. This town dates back to 1620, when the Pilgrims signed the Mayflower Compact after arriving at the harbor of what they called the New World. They agreed to settle and build a self-governing community by the bay, around Plymouth and alongside the valuable fishing coastlines—the rest is as you know, American history. What I find so magical about Provincetown is that the first settlers of this country landed there and created a town that would become one of the gayest places on earth! Isn’t that amazing and ironic? If only those pale pilgrims back in the day could see how many talented drag queens shuffle along the old roads they built in town while showcasing their fierce ensembles in 2013—I’d like to think they would be proud! Those first settlers of America were looking for freedom from the monarchy across the pond and now, Provincetown itself is a symbol for LGBT freedom and equality worldwide. Since the 1970s, Provincetown has grown a significant gay population, especially during the summer tourist season, when restaurants, bars and small shops serving the tourist trade were open. However, there had been a gay presence in Provincetown as early as the start of the 20th century with the introduction of the artists’ colony. Drag queens could be seen performing as early as the 1940s in Provincetown. In 1978 the Provincetown Business Guild (PBG) was formed to promote gay tourism and today, more than 200 businesses belong to the PBG and Provincetown is perhaps the best-known gay Summer resort on the East Coast. The town is so gay that according to a recent census, it has the highest rate of same-sex couples in the country: 163 per 1000 couples! Damn, that’s a whole lot of gay if you ask me! The town has a year-round population of just under 3,000 people but once Summer arrives, it swells to about 60,000 people who come from all over the world and from all walks of life. Drag queens, gay men, lesbians, gay families, transgendered people, bisexuals, straight families, children and all their respective pet dogs parade up and down Commercial Street along the bay every single day and night creating a Utopian bubble of love, respect, pride, diversity and individuality! Now you see why we love Provincetown so much? So let’s begin our tour of Mamma’ Biscuit’s
week in P-town.

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Sight seeing with the Biscuit Lady started early the first morning we were in town. The temperatures were still cool and all of the tourists were still sleeping. It was the perfect time to suit our little gremlin up in her fabulous new chocolate brown giraffe print dress with cyan blue sleeve piping and waist bow. We hit Commercial Street to snap a few vacation portraits and started our day at the newly renovated Provincetown Library. The building makes for a great backdrop for our fashionable pug who managed to draw a crowd of early joggers and tourists walking by.

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As we made our way down Commercial Street, we could see the Pilgrim Monument basking in the morning sunlight from a distance.

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The Pilgrim Monument was built between 1907 and 1910 to commemorate the first landfall of the Pilgrims in 1620 and the signing in Provincetown Harbor of the Mayflower Compact. This 252-foot-tall campanile is the tallest all-granite structure in the United States, and is part of the Provincetown Historic District. The views from the top of the structure are magnificent. We just told the clerk that we forgot our college IDs at home and they discounted our tickets to seven bucks. Hey, as long as I can maintain a youthful look, I’ll continue to lie to get discounted admissions anywhere in the world. My personal best was lying to the clerk at The Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia in 2007. We paid ten American dollars when we were supposed to pay twenty dollars!

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A short visit to the book store is always a treat. Three years ago, I picked up a signed copy of Role Models by John Waters in hardcover at this book store. John is a huge inspiration to me and a local who lives in Provincetown during the Summer months. I just love perusing through the gay themed books sitting alongside mainstream authors in this book store—and of course, admiring the book cover designs. It’s a nice break from the droves of tourists walking back and forth on Commercial Street.

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One of the most recognizable emblems of Portugal is the Galo de Barcelos and Provincetown paints them all over their roads for the festival. Here’s Mamma standing on one of the magical dead roosters of Portuguese lore around town.

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Mamma Biscuit was very popular with the local drag queens and tourists alike. Trying to take her for a simple walk would turn into a two-hour affair as people would stop to pet or squeeze her and want to hear all about her life story—naturally we directed them to this blog. Here’s Mamma hamming it up with the elderly drag queens. She sure knows how to mingle with the old folks.

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Mamma can also get down with the younger characters walking around town. The Daughters of Devotion could not keep their hands off our Biscuit Lady—and we were happy to entertain them!

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And here’s Mamma hangin’ with her gay back up dancers—a.k.a. our friends!

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After a full day of early morning adventures throughout the town, Mamma Biscuit returned to our B&B for some peanut butter treats and a nap.

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While Mamma napped the day away, Tommy and I decided to head to the beach for some fun in the sun!

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Of course only I would pick a vile and disgusting beach read for our week in the sun. After reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, the Marquis de Sade’s The 120 Days of Sodom came recommended to me by a good friend. I’m only on the tenth day in the book and I can assure you that it is the most revolting piece of literature I have ever laid eyes upon. It’s so revolting that I might just have to send my friend a floral arrangement to thank him for recommending it!

The beaches in Provincetown are far away from the actual town and harbor. You can either walk through swamp land with your beach gear held high above your head as you tread through high tide water like you’re a soldier in Vietnam or you can take the rock jetty through the tidal flats and walk miles across the bay to a super beautiful, private beach. Fortunately, Tommy and I had the physical strength and determination to do both!

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That evening, our friends and I took a boat ride to visit the Long Point Lighthouse which sits at the very fingertip of the curling arm of Cape Cod. A settlement began at Long Point in 1818, reaching its peak in the 1850s when about 200 people lived here. As Provincetown became a major fishing port, it was decided a lighthouse at Long Point would greatly aid mariners entering the town’s harbor.

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Here we are having a Lana Del Rey meets Madonna’s Like a Prayer moment beyond the lighthouse. This is exactly the kind of shenanigans that goes on while Mamma Biscuit is tucked away in bed!

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We enjoyed our morning walks with Mamma Biscuit throughout the week. We would hit 141 Market and indulge in some of the best vegan treats we’ve had outside of Tommy’s Sweet Semosh kitchen!

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A stroll through the East End art galleries along Commercial Street is also another way to get away from the hustle and bustle of the West End.

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A grand parade on Thursday, August 22 marked the culmination of the week-long Provincetown Carnival 2013. This year the 35th annual festivities enjoyed a “Viva Las Vegas” theme, with attendees in sparkling costumes, plenty of “showgirls” and many Commercial Street businesses decorating their storefronts in the style of Sin City casinos. Grand marshal Edie “Mistress of Sensuality” from the Vegas Cirque du Soleil show “Zumanity” led the parade, which announced in its final float the 2014 theme: Comic Book Capers. The next crop of photos will highlight our fun filled day at the parade. Tommy and I dressed up as two gigantic dice and literally tumbled our way down Commercial Street to the applause of thousands of spectators. Tommy sure knows how to work an Elvis snarl, DAMN! Of course Mamma Biscuit did not attend this parade—the sheer volume of people alone would frighten her!

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This costume is the result of two 24 x 24 inch boxes from Fed Ex, some white house paint and a few sheets of red poster paper! It felt like putting together a kids costume and I was amused and slightly unsettled when I was approached by our neighbor during the parade who told me that he saw me make this costume on our back porch in the early hours of the morning while wearing my underwear—such is gay Provincetown! Here we are with our friends from NYC.

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And here are some highlights from this Las Vegas extravaganza!

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When the dust settled from the parade and all of the festivities, it was nice to retire home to Mamma Biscuit and head out to the bay to enjoy a sunset walk along the water.

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Provincetown, 2013 was such a magical experience and Mamma Biscuit and family would like to wish you all a fun filled Labor Day weekend. Summer, 2013 is OVER and we have so much in store for you come the Autumn season here in NYC, so stay tuned y’all!

Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, Holiday, Outdoor Life, Wharf Life | 16 Comments

Dirty Linens!

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It’s gotten really dirty up in Mamma Biscuit’s Pug Palace and it ain’t because she soiled the living room rug. It all began several weeks ago when I stumbled out of The Eagle at 3am (don’t judge me) and by chance, I grabbed one of the many free gay magazines piled up at the door. As I embarked on the long subway ride home from Penn Station, I began to flip through the magazine looking for any stimulation to keep me awake for the duration of the ride. Suddenly, I came across a product feature of an incredible duvet cover that literally made my eyes pop out of my head. They call this duvet set “Cowpokes” and it’s the best bedding I’ve seen since Groovy Q put out their Tom of Finland/toile bed sheets and lounge pants years ago! Unfortunately, those dirty linens are no longer in production but thank goodness I got myself a pair of those lounge pants when I had the chance. Anyway, when I got home, Tommy was icing cupcakes for his early morning delivery on Friday and I immediately shared the feature with him as soon as I stepped through the door. I believe his exact words were, “OMG, this duvet cover is SO YOU” and that sealed the deal for me. Mamma Biscuit was fast asleep in her own toile donut bed at that hour so I gently tip-toed passed her towards the office to log on to Vice Merchants to make my purchase!

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I really appreciate a good product description and the copy for “Cowpokes” in slate gray did not disappoint:

“When a hard day’s work is done, kick off your boots and retire to open rolling pastures. Let our hard body cowboys work the farm, while you nap in fields made of 400 Thread Count 100% Egyptian cotton.”

YES, the wild, gay west in my head involves 400 Thread Count 100% Egyptian cotton! I love it, although the last thing I would want to do is take a nap in these pastures—not with all of these muscular cowboy studs working and playing around me.

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The illustrations are just perfect—everything from the cowboy taking a bubble bath in a metal tub to the cowboy on all fours with a saddle on his back waiting to be mounted to the naked Wrangler tying up his cowboy friend to a tree trunk whose jeans have been pulled down below his butt! So there you have it, all my private, cowboy fantasies thrown onto a duvet cover—YEEHA!

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This duvet cover will surely make all of our straight guests uncomfortable and all of our gay guests green with envy—a perk on both counts!

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Mamma Biscuit is so accustomed to having hot studs surrounding her almost every single day and this graphic bedding will just blend right into her life at home seamlessly. I just can’t wait for my mother to visit. I can just see her now, holding Mamma Biscuit in her arms as she roams into our bedroom—SURPRISE!

Enjoy & Happy Thursday!

Posted in Just Because . . ., Oddities, Shopping | 9 Comments

1991

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News flash for all my peers who haven’t paid any close attention to what young people are up to these days: THE ‘90s ARE BACK and they are back with a vengeance! I know, It’s been a hard pill for me to swallow but I just can’t deny it anymore. How did this happen? Seriously, I’m not asking a rhetorical question here, how the fuck did this really happen? As part of a high school graduating class of 1995, I find this revival extremely unsettling! I was enjoying a long stretch of my young adult life appropriating the decadent decade of the ‘80s when it came to fashion and music because it made me feel young and that much closer to Madonna but now . . . ughhh . . . I’m having to endure younger people rehashing trends from the ‘90s that literally defined my high school experience—all in the name of irony! Do you know what that does to a gay guy in his mid thirties? It makes me feel fucking old and that much closer to collecting a damn Social Security check! If feeling old isn’t bad enough, rave wear seems to be all the rave now (ewww) and I swear, I’m not going back to wearing a clear plastic backpack paired with a silky Puma track suit, dayglow plastic jewelry and foam platform sneakers to a nightclub to fit in. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I actually wore shit like that to the Limelight back in the day to get Michael Alig’s camp to notice me—and unfortunately, it never really worked! Anyway, the one glimmer of hope here is that everyone has put the 1980s Madonna back in the vault only to dust off the ‘90s Madonna trends that I hold especially dear to my heart. Trends like underwear as outerwear, bondage wear mixed in with sleek formal wear and revisiting the Miami years of Versace are all things I can get on board with . . . again! Hey, if younger kids want to rip a page out of Madonna’s Sex Book circa 1992 then they have my full support. But whatever trend any of you try to rehash, stay away from the bare-eye-brow look please! If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, just view Madonna’s Deeper and Deeper music video again and then hold her completely accountable for luring women worldwide to shave their brows!

Anyway, your probably wondering why I’m rambling on about a ‘90s revival in fashion and how it relates to Mamma Biscuit and well, this exquisite Victorian style choker she is wearing should have really tipped you off at this point!

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Now earlier in the Summer Tommy and I stumbled into the Housing Works in the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood and found this beautiful Victorian/cameo pendant with black velvet rope that literally brought back so many ‘90s memories for me. For those of you who don’t know, Housing Works here in NYC is a thrift store of sorts where people donate their clothing, furniture and housewares and all of it either goes into the stores for sale or up for auction online—and the proceeds go to helping people living with Aids in NYC. In other words, I feel great when I shop at any Housing Works throughout NYC because I know that my money is going towards a really important cause.

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Anyway, when I saw this gem sitting in a glass case at the store, I immediately thought of JLo’s cameo appearance as a dancer in Janet Jackson’s That’s the Way Love Goes music video! Seriously, this type of choker was a staple for any girl in high school in the mid ‘90s. I remember girls showing up to school wearing chokers like this paired with black bell bottom pants, John Fluevog platform shoes and billowy, cropped white pirate shirts! It was like every girl wanted to be an extra on Whitney Houston’s I’m Every Woman music video—and all I wanted to do was look like a back up dancer for Madonna’s Blond Ambition tour! Yes, I had a Caesar hair cut but at least I had the good sense to not dye my hair blond! The only thing that would make Mamma Biscuit’s ‘90s look complete would be a frilly white cropped top and a gold tooth—and since Mamma only has one tooth left, I thought I would spare her some dignity!

And now for your listening pleasure . . .

Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, Music, Portraits | 6 Comments

Throwback Thursday #5

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It’s that time of the month again y’all—and no ladies, it does not involve cramps or bloating so relax, sit back and enjoy as we wax nostalgia here on Mamma’s little corner on the web with another Throwback Thursday. Here for your viewing pleasure is Mamma Biscuit giving fierce face while wearing a fabulous vintage hat and a set of Chanel No. 5 pearls wrapped around her built-in-mink-stole-of-a-neck! These chic pearls came straight from Karl Lagerfeld’s personal collection—before they had a falling out with one another! It’s unfortunate but Mamma Biscuit and Karl have had an on-again-off-again relationship for several years now and it all started when Kunty Karl lashed out with his forked tongue in an interview, making a snide remark about Mamma Biscuit’s weight. Fortunately, his insensitive comment hasn’t hindered Mamma from indulging in soft peanut butter treats on a daily basis but it did put a dent in their friendship. The good news is that Mamma Biscuit continues to support Chanel despite Karl’s impulsive negativity. Afterall, Coco Chanel would have wanted it that way!

But enough about Kunty Karl and Chanel, let’s talk about this amazing hat Mamma is wearing. I remember popping into Bahoukas Antique Mall in Havre de Grace, Maryland several years ago with Mamma Biscuit and stumbling upon this pink gem out of a line-up of hats on the wall. I was so excited I nearly passed out! Isn’t it gorgeous? This is the type of hat that would make the Andrew Sisters green with envy! The stars must have been aligned because this beauty was made to fit Mamma’s exact head size, and the veil adds just enough drama and style for our little fashionable gremlin!

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What I remember most about that day was how we had the owners of the shop in stitches as I shared with them my intentions of having Mamma wear the hat in a photo shoot and blogging about it. They found it so entertaining (and slightly concerned that a pug actually has a blog) that they gave me a huge break on the price which made Daddy Biscuit very happy!

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Mamma Biscuit may be toothless but she sure knows how to bring vintage glamour to our Throwback Thursday series. So here’s to the first day of August and the home stretch of Summer. Our Biscuit Lady can’t wait to showcase her fall wardrobe for you all, so stay tuned!

Enjoy

Posted in Throwback Thursday | 8 Comments

Merry July 25th!

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The 25th of July has finally arrived y’all and Mamma Biscuit wants to wish each and every one of you a very merry Christmas . . . in July! In exactly six months from today, Santa Claus will attempt to stuff his wide ass down your chimney (or break into your home via the fire escape) to drop off a pile of over-priced gifts under your Christmas tree so that you can celebrate the birth of a King—and when I say King here, I’m not talkin’ about George Alexander Louis. The British monarchy and their royal wealth could never compete with the best holiday in the whole wide world, so don’t even think of bringing that baby up on this special day! Today is the day where QVC explodes with their non-stop Christmas segments that are chock-full of awful holiday products that will surely inspire you to get into the Christmas spirit—or at least vomit, in which case you’ll be bikini-ready for the beach as the weekend rapidly approaches! Now Mamma Biscuit and I are planning a marathon-style day of watching all of this crap unfold and I’ve entrusted Tommy to hold onto my wallet with all my credit cards and my cell phone until the end of the day—just in case! Christmas in July is not only about QVC, it’s about breaking out the floor plan for the apartment and figuring out where things will go and which halls will be decked and which displays will be put up. I’m seriously considering upgrading to a bigger, taller Christmas tree this year because my prelit, 6 1/2 foot Martha Stewart tree in white is just not big enough for the sheer amount of ornaments Mamma has accumulated within the last two years. In fact, we’ve got a whole new set of vintage decor that we would like to share with you to make this day extra special. So put your DVR on pause and come take a quick stroll with Mamma through her digital wonderland of holidays goods, you’ll be glad you did!

AHHH, Kurt Adler, that name is like music to my ears. You should have seen how excited I was when I stumbled upon these glittered, plastic orbs put out by the Kurt Adler company during one of my monthly visits to Authentiques, a vintage boutique down in the Chelsea neighborhood here in NYC.

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I’ve never been one to shy away from newly produced ornaments and I wasn’t about to start with these. They call them retro ornaments and they are made to look like the original plastic ornaments produced in the 1950’s and I simply could not resist from buying every last one of them off the shelf. Each ornament has the same styled angel placed within but in various different colors. Aren’t they gorgeous? Now do you see why I need a new damn tree come December?!

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From Chelsea, NYC, we head down south to Savannah, Georgia where we found a whole slew of Christmas goods on the commute down, while we were there, and on the way home. No matter where we are in the world, you can always find us knee-deep in junk looking for Christmas decor—and Savannah had their share of great stuff. In downtown Savannah, we stumbled upon a small antique shop called Antiquities where we came across these vintage pine cone glass ornaments that were handmade in Poland.

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Dusted with gold glitter, this set of four ornaments are just perfect for adding sparkle to one of our entry way garland displays at the Pug Palace. Mamma Biscuit actually found these ornaments in the store that day. I walked her into the shop and she went right to the low shelf where they were sitting and started to sniff them. Some dogs are bomb-sniffing dogs, ours is highly trained to sniff out Christmas no matter where she is!

From Antiquities, we didn’t have to walk far (two store fronts down) before stumbling upon the Wright Square Antique Mall. This place was much bigger and had a whole array of vintage goods ranging from clothing, jewelry and records to obscure one-of-kind glassware. In between all of that goodness, I came across this Santa Clause made in
Japan in the 1950s.

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I just couldn’t put this one down. He’s bendable so you can either display him seated or standing up but I intend on putting him on our Christmas tree as an ornament.

While we were on River Street, we stumbled upon a tiny hole-in-the-wall place (I can’t recall the name of the shop) where we picked up these old Christmas light bulbs. Can you believe that we’ve gone from beautifully crafted light bulbs like these to the LED lights we see today? What a tragedy that is!

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In 2008, I picked up several sets of Christmas lights at Anthropologie that had art deco designed light bulb shells that reminded me of these vintage bulbs from the 1940s. I may put these two light bulbs in a cloche with other Christmas gems come December. I just could not leave the store without them!

And finally, on our way home from Savannah, we stumbled upon an Antique Market in North Carolina right off I-95 where we cleaned house on some very beautiful Christmas decor. The market dealer was very helpful and she loved the fact that we were toting Mamma Biscuit around while scouring for goods.

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From hand painted glass balls to hand crafted styrofoam and felt ornaments, they had it all and we picked out the very best for our tree!

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So that’s all folks! I hope you all enjoyed our Christmas in July decor and that they have inspired you all to think about trimming a tree during the thick of a hot and humid Summer. Now remember, the countdown officially starts today—only 152 days away!

Enjoy

Posted in Holiday, Vintage | 6 Comments