Christmas Withdrawals!

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Don’t think for one minute that I haven’t noticed Mamma Biscuit staring aimlessly out towards the spot in our living room where our Christmas tree stood proudly four months ago. I’ll be sitting on our sofa watching an intense episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race or the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when, from the corner of my eye, I catch Mamma (sitting in her special spot alongside the right arm of the sofa) staring hopelessly at the red chair positioned exactly where our festive tree once stood! Sometimes I’ll even hear a slight whimper from her while she holds her long, intense gaze. Now I don’t want to be an alarmist here but I think I know exactly what’s going on people—Mamma’s got a bad case of Christmas withdrawals! I had a feeling this was going on for a while now! Several days ago I caught our Biscuit Lady napping right next to a pile of Christmas records while practically drooling on Johnny Mathis and yesterday, I found Christmas glitter all over her right ear–clearly all signs pointing to Christmas withdrawal if you ask me! Who could blame the pooch? She lives in a household that considers Christmas in July on QVC and Jeanne Bice’s birthday a national holiday worthy of a day off from work and some form of hardcore observance! I mean, how could all three of us not long for the return of Christmas by March?! Now there’s no need to call a doctor (although we could use a refill on Xanax, we’re running low) because I’ve got the perfect cure for our Christmas blues—ornaments, ornaments and more ornaments! In fact, we’ve got so many new holiday decorations to share that I’m gonna have to spread it out throughout the year for you all and save the best for Christmas in July—which will be here sooner than you think. So come along with Mamma Biscuit as she unveils some pretty unique, vintage holiday trimmings that could make even a Jew yearn for a Santa ringing a bell on every street corner in his or her city!

The moment I stumbled upon Matt McGhee’s shop on Waverly Place between Christopher Street and West 10th Street in the heart of historic Greenwich Village several years ago, I immediately fell in love! This small enclave of beautifully handcrafted Eastern European glass ornaments can be totally overlooked on this quiet side street if you’re not paying attention—and I’m glad I paid attention because this line of holiday trim can truly give Christopher Radko a run
for his money!

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Now we here at the Biscuit household normally seek out vintage Christmas ornaments but Matt McGhee has been able to reference some old world holiday aesthetics and make newly designed hand blown ornaments utilizing some of the best craftsman from Germany, Poland, Ukraine, Czech Republic and Hungary! It was only a matter of time before I found the perfect set of starter ornaments from Matt McGhee to add to our continuously growing collection of holiday wares! What you see here is a rare and unique set of five sherbert twist ornaments with cobalt blue glitter accents!

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Mamma Biscuit actually gave this set to Tommy as a Christmas gift this past holiday season and of course, he was over the moon for them! They literally look and feel like candy and I personally love how versatile they are. I can see these twists hanging on both our Halloween tree as well as our Christmas tree because of their color scheme so Mamma Biscuit will have plenty of time to enjoy them!

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Our second Christmas find is this fantastic glass ornament with hand painted jester accent and recessed holes from the late 1940’s.

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Our good friends Robert and Paul (an elderly gay couple) at Authentiques on 18th Street in Chelsea have some of the best vintage and new decorations for Christmas as well as Halloween in all of New York City in my opinion. It’s really no secret that this tiny shop is Mamma’s go-to place for everything Christmas from year to year! Both Tommy and I love supporting small, charming businesses like Authentiques and we want them to thrive and live on for future New Yorkers!

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So if you are ever in NYC, you must visit the boys and tell them that Mamma Biscuit sent you–they’ll know exactly who we are! Want to take a virtual tour, click here.

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These guys have one giant wall case display of great vintage ornaments just like this one. Plastic, blow molded, flocked, hand blown glass or newly made designs, Authentiques has it all— and at reasonable price points!

Last on our bump-of-Christmas-cocaine high are these two glass ball ornaments that we picked up at an annual German holiday fair hosted by a German Hall out on Hempstead Turnpike in Long Island!

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Every year, the Germans who belong to this hall put together a holiday fair on the weekend of Thanksgiving and every year, we tote Mamma Biscuit from her visit with Santa to the German ladies at this event to peruse through their stock of crafty holiday wares. This year I scored big time because an elderly woman sold me two giant zip lock bags of vintage glass ornaments for 5 bucks and these two balls were just the tip of the iceberg of what came out of those two bags!

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One ball has a giant stainless steal mesh cover surrounding the entire surface and the other is a clear ball with a tinsel puff encased within and opaque white glitter panels on the crown and base! I love ornaments like this, especially when I know that ABC Carpet here in NYC would sell the same kind of ornament for 20 bucks a piece!

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So that’s all for now folks! I can already see a difference in Mamma’s disposition after writing this post! Sharing these ornaments with you all has temporarily quenched our thirst for all things Christmas and hopefully our withdrawals will subside. If not, I may just have to put up the Christmas tree for Mamma Biscuit if she continues to gaze at the red chair in our living room—and as you all know, that’s no easy task!

Enjoy

Posted in Holiday, NYC Life, Vintage | 6 Comments

Pug at the Plaza!

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Check in at the Plaza Hotel is at 1pm Miss Biscuit, shall we hold your luggage at the front desk while you wait for your penthouse suite?

Ruff Ruff, I have one Louis Vuitton travel trunk full of doggy couture and a satchel full of soft chew treats. Guard them with your life! I’m heading out with my two daddies to prance around the hotel grounds so that I can have my photograph taken. I’ll be back in 30 minutes, capisce?

Yes Miss Biscuit. We have been anxiously waiting for your arrival!

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Now Mamma Biscuit would normally demand entrance to her room immediately upon arriving at any hotel no matter what time it was. She would bark up a storm until someone at the front desk would give in completely and simply put the key card in her mouth just to get rid of her relentless ass! I guess old age has softened her demanding Diva ways because she’s agreed to wait and I’m totally shocked! It’s as if Joanna Staten played by Goldie Hawn in the movie Overboard has woken up from her amnesia and is suddenly more accommodating! Now Mamma’s got a full schedule ahead of her for the next couple of days so this penthouse suite better be up to par with her usual standards. Surprisingly, her list of demands are pretty reasonable: 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets lining her doggy bed, fresh cut orchids in every room, a cabinet filled with soft-chew treats and a couple of young, svelte, male pugs “on call” in case she wants “company” in the late hours of the night . . . oh and her cocaine dealer on speed-dial—because after a full day of upper crust activities with the NYC socialite elite, our Biscuit Lady likes to crash back at her hotel room with her friends Peter Gatien, Kate Moss, Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone, Liza Minelli and a party bag of some
good China white!

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Now about those upper crust activities Mamma has planned during the day, they include a few charity luncheons with Carole Radziwill from the Real Housewives of New York City (both will undoubtedly have a good laugh at how desperate the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is to get her hands on a free Naeem Khan dress straight from the designer), two private fashion shows at their respective work studios (designers will remain a secret, sorry), a meeting with Rachel Zoe to discuss a possible styling gig for the upcoming Summer season and a dinner with Anna Wintour to discuss the current rise of fur used in fashion and how she could/should encourage and promote more compassionate treatment of animals regarding the fashion industry! Yeah, and you all thought Mamma Biscuit slept all day—hell-to-the-no! Our Biscuit is a hard-hitting player and practically runs this town!

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So off went the bellhop dragging Mamma’s giant LV trunk that could make anything Mariah Carey would consider luggage look like a duffle bag and we headed outdoors to take a few photographs of our glamorous pooch!

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Now onto our glamorous gremlin. Some may say that fur is making a come back, we say FUCK FUR! It does not connote wealth, luxury, style or high design. In fact, all it does is support a cruel industry of animal exploitation—sentient beings that are skinned alive to make full fur garments or accents to other garments! Real fur is stale, ugly and so OVER! No one in their right mind would want to wear a coat made out of Mamma Biscuit, why would anyone want one made out of mink, fox or raccoon? You want the same look, go faux! Mamma’s all about fake fur and fake fashion and in these photographs, she’s all about polyester, the “other” fabric of our lives! This grey fur-like dress/coat makes our little Biscuit Lady look more glamorous and wealthy than a typical Russian woman walking through Red Square in head-to-toe fur!

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Totally fitting for a Plaza Hotel arrival, Mamma sauntered around the Grand Army Plaza wearing this faux fur-looking dress/coat paired with a vintage diamond circle brooch. If that wasn’t fabulous enough, this garment is quilted with muted silver sequin lines that add another level of sophistication! So eat your heart out SJP because you never looked this damn good in any episode of Sex and the City! OK, maybe Mamma’s frock doesn’t look that much like faux fur but I’m all for skinning teddy bears to make a garment than real animals, so cut me some slack here, OK! I just hope that last comment won’t get Mamma Biscuit in trouble with PETTB—People for the Ethical Treatment of Teddy Bears! Hey, you never know when a gang of plushies turn the corner and throw red paint all over your ensemble!

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Pomona, atop the Pulitzer memorial fountain was dry as a bone but we did take a few regal photos of Mamma Biscuit in front of the golden equestrian statue of William Tecumseh Sherman designed by Augustus Saint-Gaudens. The statue features Sherman on a horse with “Victory” in front of him pointing the way forward. There is nothing more victorious to Mamma Biscuit than rocking a sophisticated, elegant, high fashion look that is 100% cruelty-free!

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Those 30 minutes went by really fast because before we knew it, The Plaza was ready for Mamma to check in! After 5 years of living in this city, Mamma Biscuit has become such an NYC icon that she practically shares the same level of importance as the Empire State Building!

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Our gremlin may be a ‘round the way girl from the dirty streets of Washington Heights at heart but she sure knows how to clean up and hang with the 1%!

Enjoy!

Posted in Fashion, NYC Life, Portraits | 24 Comments

MammaBiscuit.com Turns 2!

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It seems like just yesterday Mamma Biscuit burst onto the blogosphere with her little-engine-that-could blog and since then, she has grown a legion of die-hard fans from all around the world that check in weekly to see what our gremlin is up to! Time does fly by when you’re having fun because this weekend we turn 2 years old—2 FREAKING YEARS OLD, can you believe it? It bears repeating because honestly, when we started this blog, I thought I would just post a couple of photos of Mamma and never log back on thinking it would conflict with my extensive reality-TV-watching-schedule! I guess Mamma Biscuit has made our lives so fulfilling that sharing it with you all has just been a natural extension of our experience having her as a pet! It also helps that her rescue story is of the rags-to-riches variety—I mean, who doesn’t love a good little orphan Annie past? Oh and that puppy mill down in Georgia that Mamma endured for the first 7 years of her life can simply FUCK OFF with the rest of them out there because this blog serves as a testament to just how fulfilling and rewarding it is to rescue a dog or cat (especially the elderly animals who experience the most rejection)
and to simply say NO to puppy mills and breeder ideals!

Now, who would have known that sharing Mamma’s life and adventures living out her golden years with her two daddies in NYC would spark such interest and enthusiasm from all four corners of the earth! From London to Paris, Milan to Tokyo, Berlin to Toronto, Australia and all across the United States—Mamma sure knows how to bring all the dogs to the yard, DAMN RIGHT! It’s insane! Mamma’s adorable puggy snout has graced computer screens owned by people from all walks of life! In the past 2 years, y’all have logged on here to Mamma’s little corner on the web for your daily dose of cuteness—and it’s totally been our pleasure! Had a slow day at work and need a distraction? forego that 5-hour energy shot and log onto MammaBiscuit.com—you won’t be disappointed! From a hard, baby-making life at that puppy mill in Georgia to the good people at Curly Tail Pug Rescue to our family—where her New York City adventure began and continues to thrive, we at the Pug Palace thank you for your enthusiasm, compliments, encouragement and general excitement regarding Mamma Biscuit. We feel your immense love pulsating through our monitor here at home!

For our one year anniversary last year, we covered the amusing search terms that people used to get to their respective/desired places on the Web but ended up here—on Mamma’s blog! Remember that post? Thank goodness for Word Press because the list of hilarious words and phrases that come in daily astound me! The fact that phrases like Gay Muscled Bikers, John Galliano, I’m So Gay I Poop Rainbows, Suck Me Off Mama, Anna Wintour Looks Like a Frog and Madonna Pugs has directed people to this very blog makes this whole project worth while in my opinion! What a cross section of people! Now let me tell you, words are powerful but in this image-obsessed culture we live in, a picture is truly worth a thousand words! We should know because we get a ton of new readers through shared photos on Tumblr accounts and Pinterest. In fact, below are two screen shots of Mamma Biscuit dominating the Pinterest boards of many out there that bring in new viewers every day!

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Now tell me if you wouldn’t want a quilt that looked exactly like this to keep you warm all year long?

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Sharing (responsibly) is caring so thank you all for sharing Mamma Biscuit’s photos with your friends and followers and generally making her star shine brighter here in this big digital world!

Now some may warn us of the “terrible twos” we face starting on Sunday, February 24th but I say bring it on! Mamma’s got a lot of feistiness to work out this year and you all have front row seats to her show! Enjoy and happy two year anniversary to your favorite, toothless pug online!

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February 24th is the day we went live in 2011 with Mamma’s very first post! Get into HER Groove if you haven’t already!

Posted in Editor's Note | 27 Comments

Our Funny Valentine!

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My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine stay
Each day is Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day has finally arrived and the Biscuit Household is all a-buzz with the celebration of life, love and our very own funny Valentine! Now Frank Sinatra may have gotten it half right because our little gremlin is totally photographable and her figure matches that of any canine from Hellenic times, however, Mamma Biscuit sure does make us smile & laugh and her list of imperfections all conspire to make her one amazing little girl! Now it’s no secret to anyone out there that I’m possessive of my funny little Valentine. What can I say, I’m an Italian Daddy that dotes over her as if she were my real daughter—and quite frankly, I see no problem with that! When Valentine’s Day rolls around, I get this nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach just wondering if Mamma’s gonna receive a bouquet of flowers or some heart-shaped box full of chocolates from some gentleman-pug-caller! Don’t give me the side-eye people, I nearly had a coronary stroke last year when Tommy played that awful trick on me by propping a box of drugstore chocolates from Russell Stover against the front door of the Pug Palace with a note written to Mamma Biscuit from her secret Valentine. Can you believe him? THE NERVE! Now if there is any dog out there in the neighborhood that has eyes for my little girl, they better come barking for my permission first before making such a bold move as sending gifts with a romantic angle attached to them! This year we decided to make Mamma Biscuit our very own special Valentine! First, I had the painstaking task of attaching a “return to sender” note to all of the flowers, candy and notes of love from all the male dogs in the neighborhood—oh and one really confused female bull dog who sports an entire wardrobe of flannel no matter what time of year it may be! There must have been a whole lot of depressed dogs dealing with rejection issues walking around Fort Tryon Park in the past week leading up to today because the Valentine’s Day gifts and cards came in by the truck load and the post office became my second home last week! Hey, what Mamma doesn’t know won’t hurt her—Jesus, when did I turn into my overbearing, immigrant father? I’m quite disgusted with myself! All kidding aside though, if I hear just one male dog bark for Mamma to “throw down her hair” alla Rapunzel from the fire escape because he’s in a romantic mood tonight, I think I might just fall off the deep end! I know, I love her too much and want her all for myself—is that such a crime?

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So today we decked our little fashion plate out with a new Valentine’s Day frock paired with a set of big pearls around her neck! Honestly, Mamma is totes giving us Michelle-Obama-White-House-Realness with this shoulder-bearing number!

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This sweet bouclé fabric is just the right amount of pink and chocolate brown to make any heart melt with cuteness-overload! I also love the black velour neckline and waistband that clasps together with a diamond-lined heart accessory! Mamma Biscuit is all about the detailing when it comes to her wardrobe— you’ve all seen her brooch collection!

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Now Mamma may not have indulged in those Valentine’s Day chocolates but she sure did receive a boat-load of treats throughout this photoshoot—peanut butter treats to be exact! After snapping these lovely Valentine’s Day portraits, we decided to deck the tree in Mamma’s living room with vintage Valentine’s Day ornaments to make her Pug Palace feel more festive!

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While I was hanging the ornaments, the Biscuit Lady fell asleep clutching her heart-shaped box of chocolates and making it a pillow to rest her chin on! So typical of our little gremlin to fall asleep after devouring treats and running around in circles in front of my camera lens for 15 minutes! The soundtrack on the stereo system was A Date With John Waters—a patchwork of dark, twisted, off-kilter love songs from the self-proclaimed master of bad taste! Tommy gifted me this signed copy for Valentine’s Day many years ago and we break it out every Valentine’s Day for a full listen!

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So that’s it folks, Mamma Biscuit and family would like to officially wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day! Tommy and I will be spending the evening with our little pug, nestled between us, WHERE SHE BELONGS instead of gallivanting out on the town with some secret male pug lover—she’s just not ready to date in my opinion,
maybe next year!

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Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet, funny Valentine—you’ve got a lot of class!

Enjoy

Posted in Fashion, Holiday, Music, Portraits | 16 Comments

Snowpocalypse, 2013!

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There really isn’t anything better in this world than American media covering an impending blizzard. Seriously, in the two days leading up to Nemo’s arrival here in the Northeast, The Weather Channel was in such a snow panic that they resorted to CAPSLOCKED WEATHER WARNINGS all over its homepage! They predicted historical snow accumulations (18-24 inches of snow in NYC and over 3-feet in Boston) and wind gusts near hurricane levels with their plethora of weather maps, radars and mountain graphics! Now you all know that I love a giant, totally unnecessary, public panic session! It’s the only reasonable way to obligate people to run out to their local Home Depot to get into a fist fight with other customers over the last shovel and a bag of rock salt! Oh, so you’re not a home owner with a long-ass driveway or a car owner and therefore could care less about shovels, rock salt and sand? well wipe that smug look off your face because you’ve got long bread, milk and egg lines to deal with at the damn grocery store—that’s the very next thing the media obligates you to go out and get. Like my friend Tova so eloquently put it on Facebook during the storm, “why do people feel the need to run out and get eggs, milk and bread during a fucking snow storm? it’s like the collective population being affected needs to make French toast in order to survive.” See, at the Biscuit household, we only needed one food item to weather out the storm: 10 bags of UTZ potato chips—assorted flavors! That’s right, while everyone was out scouring empty bread shelves, literally strip-searching bakers leaving their long shifts for a crumb, I was planning my own sodium Nor’easter up at the Pug Palace! Sometimes we New Yorkers can get cocky when it comes to food and a storm. How could we not when almost all of us live within a 1 to 3 block radius of a 24-hour bodega that will always stay open no matter how dangerous the storm may be! Ok, I may be exaggerating a bit because I did eventually go grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s on 72nd Street and Broadway and let me tell you, those people had their shit together! I was in and out very swiftly. They allowed just one shopping cart per person! I didn’t even need one, I simply used my shopping/laundry cart that I brought with me in the store—I know, I’m such an old lady! There were no empty bread or dairy shelves like the looping video footage on TV of every other grocery store in the Northeast. The place was packed, the shelves were stocked and if they emptied out, they were refilled rapidly! My only complaint was that my cashier had no clue how to pack groceries in my bags. I literally ripped that task out of her hands and she watched on as I worked my spacial relations skills with 130-bucks worth of groceries, 5 canvas bags and a
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So Friday night, it snowed and it snowed . . . and then it snowed some more! We plowed through those 10 bags of UTZ potato chips before eating dinner and then fell asleep in front of the TV watching Judge Judy with Mamma Biscuit snoring like a piglet by our side. We woke up on Saturday morning to a 16” winter wonderland that practically begged us to go out and play in it. So that’s what we did! Now I know I just posted about our last snowfall that yielded a paltry 2 inches of snow but you’re getting more of the same thing! So here’s Mamma Biscuit trucking through 16” of snow like a mini 4-wheel-drive car with chains on the tires! The landscape of Fort Tryon Park is just so breathtaking and everyone was out, walking their dogs, cross country skiing or sledding down the many hills of the park! We met up with a beautiful dog named Sadie and our pug friends Bruce and Butter Cup who live around the block from us! It was a very cold but fun-filled experience! So without further adieu, the Snowpocalypse Nemo of 2013 in photographs!

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We love Mamma Biscuit!

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Me and the Biscuit Lady sharing a winter moment!

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Heading towards Bette Midler’s New Leaf Restaurant and Bar!

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Mamma Biscuit on the run!

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She got stuck along the way!

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Back on track!

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The beautiful and sweet Sadie!

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Bruce and Buttercup alongside Mamma Biscuit doing what pugs do best, sniffing urine! Urine, it truly brings all dogs together!

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It really is a marshmallow world in the Winter! Good luck digging out and stay warm!

Posted in NYC Life, Outdoor Life | 23 Comments